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There were a few positions, a smattering of dirty talk, and little to no meaningful conversation about needs and fantasies.
When I got married, the tepid sexual exploration my then-husband and I had enjoyed before the wedding devolved to a sputter that was finally extinguished two years ago when I divorced.
But it's different now: people are more comfortable pursuing a sexual interest in a particular person, whether that's male, female, or transgender. One of the first men who contacted me online was a 28-year-old. We agreed to meet, and as we were figuring out the logistics, he asked me what type of intimate grooming I preferred: trimmed or completely bare. I am actually surprised now, when I discover that a guy doesn't manscape.
It's part of developing one's sexual identity -- something that very few people allowed themselves to do in my earlier days. For both men and women, intimate grooming has become a regular grooming ritual.
Several months ago, when I was contacted by a woman on Ok Cupid, I realized just how different sex had become.
There wasn't support for the coming-out process back then -- or for same-sex preferences at all -- so I imagine that declaring one's attraction to both genders was not something people were inclined to do unless they absolutely had to.
I'm amazed by the amount of men who write dirty, and who write dirty well. I think a lot of boomers have become kinkier as they've grown older, whereas a lot of younger folks start out kinky, or shortly thereafter. In my younger days, all I ever saw were white Hanes briefs or loose-fitting boxers.
Again, I think the prevalence of porn and the sharing of information has made kink a part of the sexual conversation, a conversation that just didn't exist among the mainstream hetero population a few decades ago. Now, it's all low-rise microfiber briefs and trunks in primary colors.
Things that I'd heard about but thought were slightly depraved.
Things that that no partner appeared inclined to do. I'm not sure when they entered the sexual mainstream, or if they were always there and I didn't know it.